My dear Sat

Please forgive me if I am disturbing you. But your Flowing life poem made me feel the life. Made me see how life is seeing oneself!

The miracle of seeing oneself

Water in motion
Glittering light
Gurgling laughter

Life is in delight with itself
Loving itself
Seeing itself
Hearing itself
Playing and dancing with itself
Resting in itself
And here also,
This birds this sky this trees
How beautiful how calm how lovely
How simple how easy
This miracle of seeing oneself.

Dear Sat, thank you so much for sharing the Flowing life.

Love

Afshin

*****

Hello Afshin! You keep inspiring me with your comments to my texts and poems. This flowing came to me like a wave, irresistible joy of life, that I could not avoid. It just took me. Water is also a symbol of emotions, the flowing love and happiness of just being here without resistance.

Flowing life - enjoying the streams of Love and joy

Flowing life

Water in motion,
stillness without end.
Everything comes to rest
resting in itself.

Immovability in change.
Life without a center.
Everywhere and nowhere.
Nothing to understand – just to be.

Roaring streams
gushing, whirling, murmuring.
Glittering light of gold and white.
Resting joy without a cause.

Flowing life,
mirroring all forms.
Receiving everything
with a gurgling laughter.

Love,
Satyananda

My dear Sat

It took me several days to read your beautiful reply to The final result of spirituality for one more time. There is no escape, no runaway, no drunkenness, no anything; just my beloved, just this presence, just this lightness. Not a moment but extended eternity, full, full of everything.

Let me go

It is you that translate Sat’s words for me
So intimately, so carefully, so lovingly
It is you, just behind me even closer
You live, you be, you shine my beloved
My dearest I want to do something for you, but how!?

My love then let me go, let me go
I want to die on your feet
I want to kiss you
I want to bow you

Oh how much I love you
No, how much I have been loved, this long, so purely
I was looking for you and never knew
It is you looking for me

Let me go, you live, you shine, you smile
Let me go, let me rest on your feet
Let me go, let me die in This
Let me go

Let me deep sleep Here my beloved
No don’t let me fall asleep, I fear losing you again
Let me stay Here with you

This love, this gratitude, this breathe, these tears
Love, Afshin

******

Thank you Afshin for your sweet words!

It is the longing in our heart that guides us, pulls us irresistible. The Beloved, our own heart is calling and we are starting to listen. Maybe this time we are REALLY listening.

So we get anxious. We start to feel the separation between what we experience as me and The Beloved. This gets more intense, yes even unbearable. We are ready to do anything, no matter the cost. Anything else seems futile, meaningless. But we are so used to that we need to do anything. It is also so easy to believe that we can loose The Beloved. We are so used to that love is something that can be found and lost. We also think that we have to work hard for it. Or as we say in spiritual circles: we have to jump, we have to stop, we have to die. There is no one there that can jump, stop, or die. We are already there, nothing can or need to be done. Life takes care of all that.

In the beginning of 2004 before the awakening I sometimes stood on all four, calling out in desperation “take me, take me now, I can’t live like this anymore”. I knew beyond doubt that Presence was here, it was my own nature-self. I also knew that all experience, everything around me was also Presence. I could feel the breeze connecting these two fullnesses. But this separation was unbearable. I was completely in despair and my longing had come to its peak. But it did not happen then. There was still a belief in the longing, that something was not ok.

After that I went into a state of numbness. I did not know anything. I was just serving Nukunu, going to different retreats without any goal or meaning. The longing left and I began to experience glimpses, kisses of The Beloved. Yet I was completely helpless, like a newborn child without a sense of direction.

Then in May 2004 on a retreat in a meditation I was deep in a meditation. No expectations, nothing special, just meditation going on. Then out of nowhere came a feeling. This time it was different. I realized that this feeling was the same as the outer world. The inner and the outer merged. There were no feelings, no experiences in the ordinary sense. Just That resting in itself. Since that moment That took over all that I previously called me or mine. Only Love remains. It all happen unexpectedly, in a moment of innocence. I did not prepare for This. It just took me, completely, nothing left – fullness beyond words.

I tried to describe this in my poem Awakening, but words fall short:

This is how it happened to me. I have seen that is an individual process for everyone. Everyone has to learn how to listen in her or his own way.

It is also about loss. We will be stripped of everything. Even the longing and the idea that there is a me that can awaken. There never was a me. We just forgot. We have always been here, complete.

Love,
Satyananda

You might have noticed the ongoing dialog between Afshin and me. I got touched by his story about saving a rabbit from being suffocated at a lab. A sweet story about taking care of whatever comes to us, big or small. So many people discuss how to save the world and spend lots of time on ideas and discussion with other people what and how to do.

“If everyone was like me there would be no problems.” “If everyone did as I say all will work out.”

This just does not seem to happen. Life is that which goes on right in front of our nose and most people miss this being busy with what happen in our head. We think about what we are going to do, analyzing things, reacting to injustices, dreaming of the future. We miss so much if we are not present. If I gave away all my money to needing people and spent all my time working for people that need help I would kill myself. I would also get completely lost.

If I don’t listen to what Life tries to tell me. If I don’t follow my heart trusting that it will lead me wherever I should go I will get lost. So my advice is to stop, see what is going on, feel your heart, trust, and act whenever appropriate.

What I have learnt is that if I help myself, being completely honest and not caring for the outcome of my actions things work out alright. I trust that this world is perfect as it is, everything happens for a reason and my part is to receive and dare to act or not act according to what my heart tells me. By loving myself this love spills over and contribute in whatever ways it is meant to.  But it is not my love, it is life using me doing whatever needs to be done. Enjoy the story, love, Satyananda.

Here is the story:

About the rabbit, I teach at a university called QUMS in Qazvin,  a city near Tehran. They were going to suffocate the rabbit since they didn’t need it anymore. So I took him home and we looked after him. He was very ill when coming but recovered pretty soon and got happy and healthy. We then took him to the Saee park one of the Tehran parks and now they take care of him.

Saved from a lab

The rabbit is getting better

The rabbit experiences its new environment

The kind park watchman (Mr. Saeed)

My dear Satyananda

Now I understand what you meant when you told me it is more like a change in percepts than perception. Also, now I know what you meant by getting lost in a city.

These words came last night and it would be an honor to share them with you;

One more Chance

Oh my Love, how sweet are you
Thank you so much for waiting for me and
Giving me a chance, one more time,
To look at my belongings, my pity belongings!

There is nothing worthy to take with me, but only dust sorrow worry
How sweet are you, how kind are you, how patient are you
I am ready now, sorry made you waiting at this door for so long
This time it was quicker, but so sorry my sweetheart

I am ready now, let’s go together hand to hand
I will never call you by a name
You are nameless, colorless, fragrance-free and beautiful
You are full of energy and love

I am ready now my sweetheart, sorry kept you waiting,
Sorry

Most gratitude my dear Satyananda, Love,
Afshin

********

Hello Afshin!

Sometimes we regret all the opportunities we missed. As if we have lost something. The good news is that nothing is ever lost. We have always been here and we will always be. Maybe we regret something we said in anger, a meeting we missed, something stupid we did. The work is to see through this. We did what we could when it happened. We might need to go through an emotional process of grief, anger, hopelessness, sadness, emptiness, helplessness. When we have seen through all these feelings and not avoiding anything we finally come back to Love and Innocence again. Our hears open, we are vulnerable and open to whatever may come.

This reminds me of what several teachers have told me: “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” Can we step down from our pedestal (damned lonely place), admit that I was stupid, I was wrong or whatever. And then receive whatever life wants from us.

So we are always getting new chances. They may never look the way we want them to but if we are open we see the door, the new possibility. The Beloved is always there, patiently waiting saing: “Dear one, I have always been here waiting in your heart.”

As trust develops and we learn to accept what is here, this moment, life opens and magic happens. It only takes our courage and sincere will to see the Truth. We are willing to die to all our concepts and ideas of how life should be in order to discover that it is full and complete just as it is. I am ok, you are ok, and the world is ok.

Love,
Satyananda

My dear Sat

Every year at this time we welcome spring. We clean and dust every corner of home, grow grains, buy sweets and  hyacinth. We call this festival Nourooz that means the New Day.

But this spring, is very special as this home, I mean me, has been touched. By turning of the season, I reviewed my struggles, my words. I could notice those impurities, like parroting my learning, entreaties for understanding … that made me weep. This beauty only deserves purity.

Spring is coming

Spring is coming

I can feel it, just as Sat says
I can feel it, this heart is going to flourish
I can feel it, there is trust and joy
This peace, this trust, this love, this joy
Under the feet of the coming spring
My heart is going to flower
I can feel it

Saved from a lab

Thank you dear Sat,
Love,
Afshin

***************

Thank you for sharing your experience of spring Afshin!

Yes, it is wonderful with spring. Renewal, joy, and new energy. The sun is shining and I love to be outdoors. I made a new design for Nukunu’s homepages, www.youarethat.dk, and I got so inspired that I had to change my own pages. I am in a process of throwing out garbage – old things that I don’t need – giving room for more space.

All I need is here, right in front of my nose and I keep sniffing, smelling the sweet smell of moist soil. The warmth and sun is waking up the plants and the birds are singing.

Love,
Satyananda

My dear Sat!

What is there in your beautiful words? That is inspiring me. That is changing me little by little;

The further you go the more you get lost
(from the Everything is possible)

Yes, I have gone too far, too far from myself!
Now I want to be home
Now I want to be myself

Everything is possible

I will come back home
I will

Thank you dear Sat
Your beautiful words have the scent of a rose;
The respectful and kind reminding of the missing home

Love,
Afshin

************

Dear Afshin!

Yes it is true that when we understand that we are missing home, our true self, all we want is to come back where we belong. Nothing else matters. Living in separation when we have seen The Beloveds face is not possible, too painful. It is a question of life or death. This is all I want. My whole body, every cell, my heart cries out – take me, take me this instant. My life so far has been a walk in the desert living separated from you.

I got the title of this poem from a young man who started his work in his small shop in Laxmanjhuula, Rishikesh, India every morning by crying out loud: “Everything is possible”. My friend and I who stayed in Laxmanhjuula for a month used to great him by shouting back “Everything is possible!”.

It is so true. We have no idea what will come the next moment. It is all open. We are free this instant, it is just about seeing it and honoring it. Life is totally open. The only question is if can we receive it, are we here to receive this miracle that is going on before our eyes? Do we see it, do we REALLY see?

The poem came to me as a dialog. I did not have to do much. Just receive it, read it through a couple of times. Knocking of some rough corners and there it was. It don’t know how. It just came. Not my work, just a blessing. Here comes the whole thing, thank you Afshin for sharing your experience. Love, Satyananda.

Everything is possible

I said ”Everything is possible”.
You are free, just as you are.
No need to do anything,
life takes care of itself.

You heard it and you shook your head,
Life is hard you said, and there are so many things I got to do.
Don’t disturb me with your nonsense,
You don’t know my situation.

Well I said, it seems like you’re suffering.
You need it, hang on to it, and therefore it is real.
You don’t want to be disturbed,
by strange people like me.

Guys like you don’t know
what the real life is about.
Just fooling around on your pink cloud
and giving stupid advices that no one needs.

Well I said, seems like I keep irritating you.
Do you know why? Why am I disturbing you?
Has it something to do with yourself
or is it all my fault?

Shut up and let me focus on my life!
I don’t have time with you,
There are important things that need to be done.
I have to keep up, not to be lazy like you.

So I said, the faster you run the less you know.
The more you scream the less you hear.
The further you go the more you get lost.
It takes time and effort to avoid who you are.

Do you really mean that by doing nothing, knowing nothing,
keeping silent and going nowhere,
not caring about time and struggle -
I will know who I am?

Yes I said, just by being here with no hope
No expectations, not even longing.
Empty hands, empty mind.
Waiting in silence for nothing, Grace happens.

This is opposite of all I have learnt,
No one has ever put it that way.
I see all my friends struggling,
chasing time not to miss what is essential.

I said, I can only talk from my own experience.
I had enough of the race.
The pain of searching and trying to improve myself
made me stop, let go, surrender, and be available for life itself.

Ok, sounds like too much. What will be left,
if I follow your advice?
Will I go insane – loose my friends and my job?
What would others think of me?

I said, nothing will be left, you will loose everything you knew.
And yet you realize that you are everything.
Nothing has ever been lost, you have always been here, you just did not know.
You discover you are love itself and you need no one’s approval.

So if I don’t miss anything, if I experience myself as complete,
what is there to bother about?
If I don’t need other people to love me,
if I can accept myself and live with myself just as I am, wow!

Yes I said, it is like that, this very moment.
And you can do nothing about it.
Stop, trust, follow your heart, and life will take care of the rest.
When you go, and disappear as a separate person:

Everything is possible!

Dear Afshin!

Thank you for sharing your experience. This is what came to me:

All kinds of states run through us from time to time. The mind wants us to believe its show and when we try to expose it, like making it go very slow in meditation or doing some type of inquiry, many strange things arise. Fear, thoughts of going in sane, something is basically wrong with me, whatever I do I will fail, not good enough. When we are on this journey home Life will do everything both to support us and also challenge us to force us to go deeper and not get stuck anywhere whatever happens. When, often quite unexpected, the mind stops our true nature is revealed. There is nothing there, just emptiness or silence as you like to call it. There is no one to be wrong or right. You can say that everything is right, just as it should be. No other alternative or option is possible. You just are what you are and this is completely satisfactory.

Many times I have experienced being confused, like losing my way when walking on some street in a big city. Feeling dislocated, out of place – but at the same time – the experience of being complete dominates. This confusion just happens and it is ok, nothing to worry about. It is not my concern. Like clouds just passing temporary hiding the sun.

Only the brave ones, those who trust, dare to ask for help. Saying “I just don’t know, please help me”. Admitting that my personal intelligence and abilities are limited, but I trust that Life is taking care of me – every moment. I am never out of Love, out of Trust. By being vulnerable I let Grace in. Life wants to support me in all ways; it only needs me to be ready to receive.

So what start as feeling being wrong could when approached with sincerity and honest desire to know the truth turns to feeling right. Life reveals itself, Grace opens the doors and we can receive help, seeing that we were always cared for. We were never out of Love.

Yes, by calling out from an open heart Grace cannot resist. I comes running, carrying us, overflowing us, filling us completely.

Love,
Satyananda

******

My Dear Satyananda

My last message was so empty that I have to apologize for it. Well most of the times mind wants to do something on its own!

I don’t go to the details of my past week that let me to feel something is wrong however I would like to share these words with you;

Something is wrong

Last night, I was confused
 Nothing to do, nothing to say
 No one to talk to, nowhere to turn to
 But my pillow, but my bed
 Something is wrong, something is wrong!
 Then by chance I looked at your words,
 Too much for Mind!
I read that words, oh my God, that is, is wrong!
Too much for mind
Silence is all, Silence is love, Silence is pure
Silence is source, it is my source
Silence is light, it is my light
Silence is what I always searched for
My dear Sat you call it Truth, I call it Silence, it doesn’t matter
It doesn’t hurt, It doesn’t grab, It doesn’t want
It is there, real and potent
It is there, believe me
It is my love, it is in me, I don’t know
Too much for me, too much for mind
Too much for all minds
My dear love, my dear light, my real home
Something was wrong, I called my love
She answered me, I got in home
I am in home, I am in love, I am in light, I am in safe 

My dear Satyananda I offer you with my empty hands this love, for your pure love,
Afshin

Thank you Afshin for your translation of Rumi’s poem The awaked heart is like a lantern. I will start by put it to pieces and comment on it and then you can read the whole poem.

My heart, sit down with one who knows the heart
Sit under the tree that has fresh flowers

Follow your heart, trust, take your time, receive, share heart to heart. Sit with one you really trust, one who mirrors your true nature. Simply, your heart knows.

Don’t wander in this grocers market
Go to the shop that has sugar in it
If you don’t have the scale, you will be soon robbed by everyone
Those who make fake coins and you think it is a gold coin
They keep you waiting on their door, don’t wait there, their house has two doors!
Don’t go to any boiling pot with your bowl
Boiling pots has something else in them
Not every cane has sugar, not every below has above
Not every eye has sight, not every sea has pearl

Use your discrimination. Everything that glitters is not gold. Go where the Truth is, where the sugar is, where you get true nourishment. Don’t believe what others say, you have been fooled and cheated before. Use your common sense and intelligence. Be careful to check people and things out. Dare to question until you are satisfied. People say this and that, as I read in The Book of Tao: “The wise lets go of what he sees and follows his heart”. Don’t go for the outer shape, trust what you feel, deep inside, in your heart.

When I am in doubt about what to do I give it all over to Ramana. My intelligence is limited, my understanding incomplete. “Beloved Ramana, I just don’t know – You are the Heart, the Essence of everything, I give it all over to You.” Ramana is always here for me, carrying this life in his loving hands.

Sing, sing the singer nightingale, as the crying out will have an effect on the granite,
will affect the desert

The words, yes the song that comes from an open heart, like the nightingale singing will affect even the rocks, even the sand in the desert. Everything is touched by Truth. Nothing or no-one can stand up against it – it penetrates everything, every heart. This Love takes everything. Nothing is left untouched!

If the string (thread) doesn’t go into the needle orifice, put the head (knot) down
The string with a head doesn’t go in

A thread with a knot on will not go through the needle’s eye. Untie the knot of your heart. Bow down to Life, the source of everything even your own existence. The knotted thread, the stiff neck will prevent you from entering the River of Life.

The awakened heart is like a lantern,
keep it from the wind,
leave behind this wind and the bad weather
The bad weather has worries, the wind has trouble

Trust your inner light, nourish it, like we say “Don’t throw pearls before swine”. Give it the value it deserves, it is the most precious thing of all. Focus on it, let the winds blow and the bad weather do what it does. You know who you are, dare to stay there. Listen to your heart, not to the sorrows of the world. Trust that Life is taking care of you, ever second. It always has and always will.

If you pass the wind and reside by a spring, in line with a companion,
who has quenched his/her thirst
And you have a drop to quench your thirst, then you will get like a green tree
That gives fresh fruits and will have ongoing trips to the heart

The world is changing, experiences come and go. Stop, when there is silence. Stop by the spring, the source of life. Stop together with a true companion who has passed through all these changes, satisfied, not looking for more, just resting in herself/himself. One companion full of this Love, this Presence – overflowing, not needing or asking for anything. Resting in This that has no name.

Even a small drop of this limitless ocean will quench your thirst. You will flower. You will give nourishment to your life, you will fall into your true heart, losing everything that you thought you were. Everything that is yours will become the Heart of everything. Like Ramana says: “Heart is Thy Name oh Lord!”

Love,
Satyananda

*******************************************

My dear Satyananda

Thank you for your warm words. As Rumi says The awakened heart is like a lantern, there are bad weather and winds on the path but I will keep my lantern alive. I translated one his poems;

The awaked heart is like a lantern

My heart, sit down with one who knows the heart
Sit under the tree that has fresh flowers
Don’t wander in this grocers market
Go to the shop that has sugar in it

If you don’t have the scale, you will be soon robbed by everyone
Those who make fake coins and you think it is a gold coin
They keep you waiting on their door,
don’t wait there, their house has two doors!

Don’t go to any boiling pot with your bowl
Boiling pots has something else in them
Not every cane has sugar, not every below has above
Not every eye has sight, not every sea has pearl

Sing, sing the singer nightingale,
as the crying out will have an effect on the granit, will affect in the desert
If the string (thread) doesn’t go into the needle orifice, put the head (knot) down
The string with a head doesn’t go in

The awakened heart is like a lantern,
keep it from the wind,
leave behind this wind and the bad weather
The bad weather has worries, the wind has trouble

If you pass the wind and reside by a spring,
in line with a companion, who has quenched his/her thirst
And you have a drip to quench your thirst, then you will get like a green tree
That gives fresh fruits and will have ongoing trips to the heart

With all respect and gratitude, Love
Afshin

Thank you again Afshin!

Your new text really touched me. What you express is so important. I have experienced so many times in my life being cheated or deceived by the outer appearance.  So many times I have felt stupid and inferior compared with other people’s success. People brag about how much money they make, hundreds of friends, how clever they are, how much they know. Often I felt small and insignificant. But then there has been a long journey for me to discover genuine love, friendship and that I am complete just as I am. Part of the journey is to be humiliated and insulted just as it happened with a person I though was an old friend of mine the other day. I just never know, I follow my heart and speak what is true for me this moment. If it will turn out to be a lie the next I never know. I am just here being graced by The Great Mother, Life itself.

You describe so beautifully how you came back to your self and I feel grateful to be a part of this your journey. Like a precious gift from a dear friend, unexpected and sweet.

Love,
Satyananda

***********************************************************

My dear Satyananda

Yesterday someone came to me and we talked about spiritual things. His words were fantastic and really astonishing! I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. But in the end of the day I was a mess! That night, I read some of your beautiful texts and listened to the satsang in Tiruvannamalai (Living from the heart, India 2006). It was then I gradually find myself.

I spite of this, I am really thankful for the yesterday opportunity. It let me see clearly how some words may look or smell like genuine wine but if you take them in, they make you ill. It is strange how words can convey sweetness or bitterness from their sources just like containers do, even tough the container is made of gold and jewelry  or wood and copper they do their job! I don’t know how this happens? But does it really matter!

Dear Satyananda what is there in the silence between your messages? In that silence I can feel you, in the vast space of the night sky and in the breeze comes with the night, I can feel you. What is there in your silence?! I love that silence.

Please do accept my all respect and thankfulness,
Afshin